All the UUs in UUville liked the annual Service Auction a lot
But the Grinches, who lived on Willa Road did NOT!
The Grinches hated the service auction, the whole Auction season!
Please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
Maybe they thought they had nothing to give
Maybe they thought the services were too expensive
Maybe they thought wearing costumes was lame
Maybe they thought Michael’s juggling was just too tame
But whatever the reason, the juggling or the cost, the Grinches were upset & feeling lost.
“What can we do?” they said with despair, “The service auction is practically here!”
“What can we give? What can we offer? We have no costumes! Who will watch our toddler?”
They puzzled and puzzled until their puzzlers were sore
“Should we offer a class? Or a trip to the shore?
Should we go ballroom dancing or give massages for the sore?
We could decorate someone’s Christmas tree or host a dinner for four
What if we teach people to twerk? NO! That will never work!
Maybe we should just go and lurk . . . “
“We have no ideas! What do we do now?
We must stop this Auction from coming, but how?”
Then the Grinches got an idea, an awful grinchy idea!
“We’ll hack into the Auction website” they said
“So when the UUs try to donate, they will get an ERROR message instead!”
Then the Grinches grabbed their credit card & ordered a thingy
That would mess up the UU website as good as drilling holes in a dinghy!
And they set to work, while their cat went “HURK! HURK!” they hacked into the website and made it all pingy.
“Pooh-pooh to the UUs!” The Grinches yelled, “They’ll be bumming
They’ll find out now that no Auction is coming!
No dinners, no parties, no classes, no drumming!
No costumes, no laughter, no jugglers and no funning!”
But you know that Bob Lillich was so smart and so slick,
he said “I’ll set up a table after service and I’ll set it up quick
So all the UUs can donate services at the table
To heck with the website for those who aren’t able”
So all the UUs in UUville the tall and the small
and in no time at all there were lots of cool services for Michael to call!
All the UUs donated, without any website at all
They donated services, baskets and dinners
They donated trips and experiences, and offered raffle prizes for winners!
The Grinches were astounded “How’d that happen?” they said,
their ears steamed and their faces turned bright red.
They hadn’t stopped the auction from coming!
Oh No! Those UUs were determined to make it fun and rite stunning!
“But what about costumes? What about glitter? What about Instagram, Facebook and Twitter?
Maybe the service auction is not such a bore
Maybe, Just maybe, we should go and explore”
So the Grinches attended the Auction that day
No costumes for them, but that was OK
When the juggling began, they decided to stay
The Grinches ogled the amazing services the UUs had offered
There were games for the kids & childcare for their toddler
“This is fun!” said the Grinches
“We wish we had known, we should have come sooner, we should have brought Sam and Joan!”
The UUs all came, he whole UU nation.
They laughed and broke bread and placed bids (on occasion)
The UUs in UUville, and even the Grinches, placed bids, some large and others small.
Michael Hoffman called until his jaw was raw (though maybe that was the bowling pin that started to fall)
And at the end of the evening they all yelled “Hip Hooray!”
The Grinches even went home with some homemade pie and class throwing clay!
Their friends, the Grabbitts, bought seats to a party on Guy Fawkes Day!
Another UU got a tour of the F.A.A. and tickets to the Sunday ballet!
It all added up, the donations and bids
The UUs made enough money to keep the Fellowship off the skids
So thanks to Bob’s cunning, the Auction was a success
and the UUs were able to continue supporting their mission with finesse
Welcome Auction, bring your cheer
Cheer to all UUs far and near
Welcome Auction while we stand
Heart to heart and hand in hand
When the UUs in UUville join hands in a ring, they can accomplish anything!